Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Wriggly Rascals, Single and Pregnant

I have been asked by wriggly rascals to write a post about being single and pregnant.

I will be honest and admit being single and pregnant is not something I ever thought would happen to me but it did. I hadn't been with my second child (Ruby) dad for long when I found out in January 2010 that I was pregnant, I knew within a few days of my period being late that I was pregnant, as my cycle was always as regular as clockwork.
I did test and another, I did 7 all together just to make sure, When I knew I rang my daughter's father and asked him to come round. I spoke to him and told him I was pregnant and his reply was to get on a train to Liverpool and get rid ( The nearest abortion clinic to me is Liverpool).
I told him I wouldn't be doing that as I believe that everything happens for a reason, and he walked out of the door. I sat and I cried myself to sleep.
Anyway I told my friends and family the next day I was pregnant, Most supported me, some told me to have an abortion, I told them exactly what I told the father, and am no longer friends with these people.
For the next few weeks I moped around, hoping that Ruby's father would get in touch, but he never did. I felt scared, worried, I was up and down like a yo-yo, happy one day and sad the next.
But I snapped out of it when I realized how lucky I was, and sat down and worked out the money I was receiving, exactly what I needed for the baby, how much everything was going to cost, and what money I had to pay out, Each week I started putting a bit of money to one side and saved every spare penny I had.
As I got bigger I needed new clothes so I went to charity shops to buy what I needed so I didn't spend to much knowing I needed to buy everything for my baby and I had to do it all myself.
I will admit as I got bigger and closer to my due date I worried more, Was I going to cope, would I bond with my baby, everything got to me and I did start stressing about everything, Thankfully I had some good friends and family around to support me. I also spoke to my midwife about any concerns I had, She was fantastic.
I will admit, That being pregnant and alone isn't always easy, and yes I found I worried more than I did with my first pregnancy.
I planned everything in advance as I also had my son to think about, If your a couple and pregnant you go to appointments and scans together, I took my son and it was magical being able to hear the heartbeat for the first time with my son by my side, He also come to my scans with me and told the nurse at my 20week scan that if the baby was a boy, he wanted her to swap it for a girl.
I arranged for my son to go to his aunty's when I knew it was time to go to hospital, I set out my birth plan and arranged for my aunt to come with me and for my mum to come after work, If i'm honest I actually had a better and more enjoyable labor than I did with my son (I had his father by my side throughout my labor)
I would advise you if single and pregnant to take all the advice on board that you can, plan everything, speak to your midwife, health visitor about any worries you have at all, try not to stress to much (I know it's not always easy). Also if you feel that I could help in anyway please comment underneath this post and I will do my best to help and advise you.

Wriggly Rascals is a site that was set up by a frustrated mum to twins to help other mums, share and gain advice about pregnancy, babies and toddlers, you can find wriggly rascals on their blog, as well as facebook and twitter.
Find wriggly rascals on twitter @wrigglyrascals
Check out their website/ blog at  http://www.wrigglyrascals.com/blog/

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